Better Together

In Bianca Hseuh's blog "Odd Girl Out", she summed up her response to bullying in this simple, short sentence:

If they have the right to mock me, then I believe I also have the right to stand up for myself.

Her statement correlates directly with number 6 on ASTI's constitution: speak up for yourself and others.  I agree completely with Bianca in the fact that she has the right to stand up for herself. Unfortunately, it is not as easy as it seems, which is why number 6 on ASTI's consitution might be one of the hardest to abide by.

Speaking up takes a lot of courage. In a perfect scenario, speaking up will often times leave the perpetrator feeling remorseful about the way they made a victim feel. However in the nasty world of high school where drama is constant, speaking up directly can often times lead to even worst consequences. The bully may use it against her victim by teasing them or even taking offense to it and becoming more harsh with their attacks.  Now standing up for others? I would imagine that being ten times harder than speaking up for my own self.

So how can we speak up for ourselves and for others? I feel like the only way to be effective in speaking out is to do it together.  So in that sense, number 6 should really be rephrased to "Speak up with eachother" because if a larger group comes together to motion a belief, the message is often times a lot stronger and people have more courage to speak out because they feel a sense of unity with others that they can relate to - others who have also been bullied. 

Odd Girl Out by Rachel Simmons

Rachel Simmons talks about the reality of alliances against kids and the factors of bullying in her book Odd Girl Out.  In their teenage years, kids begin to bully or harass other students more by breaking then down emotionally and physically. I remember when I was in eighth grade there was one girl in my group of friends that seemed like a "follower". We used to leave when she came towards us and tell secrets about her when she was listening. It felt nice knowing that I was superior to another person, but at the same time, I felt wrong about the choices that I was making. I remember being the one who was scared to talk and always followed the crowd. Looking back, I was just like that girl. After I realized that what I was doing was hurtful and rude I felt bad that I was pressured into breaking down this girl.

I believe that people bully others so they can feel better about themselves. Knowing that you can control another person's emotions makes you feel important to others. It was hard to stop being mean to the girl when I knew that all of my other friends were doing the same. Then I realized, that instead of following the crowd, I should speak up for the girl. The next day instead of leaving her I stayed with her, and it turns out that she was actually very nice.

People don't just become mean all of a sudden, there has to be something that pressured them to feel this way. Sometimes it's from conflicts at home, other bully's, the want to stay popular, there are many other factors to why people bully kids. That's what Rachel Simmons is trying to talk about in her book, so that others understand why bullying is wrong.